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Through the Rain
One of my friends Susie always complains to me about the tense atmosphere in her family. Her father used to ban her listening to pop music, which in his opinion is nothing but cultural garbage. What"s more, he forced her to listen to the Peking Opera with him. And she had to pretend to enjoy it a lot in order to please him. At the same time, her mum once in a while read her diary, which she claimed that she did all this just to make sure Susie was fine and happy. Susie used to quarrel with her parents, but now she keeps silent. Once Susie confided to me, "The dead silence in the house nearly chokes me. "
All this results from the generation gap. One current belief held by the majority of people is that the disparity in age of more than 3 years will give rise to the problem of generation gap.Nowadays, it is a common social phenomenon in China and a hot issue for newspapers, magazines and TV shows. In the discussions, one thing they have all ignored is that the generation gap is unavoidable.
There are numerous reasons why generation gap exists.
First, people grow up in various social circumstances in which they form their unique characters, for the education and social background exert great influence on one"s way of thinking and world outlook. That"s why Susie"s father prefers Peking Opera--the traditional form of arts in China, while Susie is a crazy fan of the pop music and rock & roll, which is popular with all teenagers.
Another reason is that people change, as they grow older.After years of hard work, our parents surely look forward to a stable and peaceful life. Vigor and enthusiasm waned as they age. On the contrary, we"re standing at the starting point of our lives. No doubt, we"re eager to discover the brand new world opening to us, and long for competition and challenge. When it comes to the decision-making in life, divergence between our parents and us emerges.
As far as I am concerned, the most determinate factor of all is that the generation gap reflects the young"s desire to be independent of the old. Take my story as an example. One of the privileges you get from studying in a foreign language school is that you may have an opportunity to be recommended to enter one of the top-ranking universities in China, without taking the Entrance Exam.Well, my parents suggested that I take this opportunity so as to play it safe, for fear that I might perform not well enough in the Entrance Exam. I can still remember the eager desire from the bottom of my heart to make my own decision, to choose my own way and to be responsible for my own life. Without careful consideration, I turned down their sugges-tion, making them worry a lot. After months of intensive study,I, luckily, touched my goal and entered Fudan university.
Taking into account all the factors, we may draw the conclusion that the generation gap cannot be filled up. But something has to be done to make the domestic wheel spin smoothly.The key is communication. Only through hearty communication can we go through the rain and see the colorful rainbow in the clear-blue sky. At the far end of the rainbow, our parents and we can happily go hand in hand.
简 评
代沟是每一个家庭的话题，王汗青同学认为代沟就仿佛一场雨季，总会雨过天晴，沟通是解决代沟的关键，而彩虹象征着冲突的结束。
王汗青同学命题有创意，“throughthe rain”是对代沟的描述和概括，与之相呼应的是结尾的比喻，也成为文章的点睛之笔，“Only through hearty communication can we SO throughthe rain and see the colorful rainbow in the clear-blue sky．At the far end of the rainbow，our parents and we can happily go hand in hand．”文章选择了以一典型代沟事例开始，自然生动，避免了平淡论述的苍白，容易引起读者的共鸣，而一句引述“The dead silence in the house nearly chokes me．”更牵动了读者的心，使文章取得了事半功倍的效果。通常恰到好处的例证会使论述更有说服力，感染人，而一句引言或比喻往往成为文章的点睛之笔，使文章饱满，丰富。
文章采纳了例证论述的写作方法，第一个例证恰当，有力，能抓住细节，如日记、京剧，流行音乐、沉默几个有代表性的关键点。但第二个例证却显得缺少说法力，代沟是指沟通的障碍，是超出了正常的沟通范畴，是指沟通的盲区，而不是意见的不一。文章未能勾画出冲击的场面。例证显得没有说服力，可以尝试抓住一两个冲突的点来描述，比如事件过程中的僵持或冷战或冲突中的经典对话等，以突显事件过程中的代沟问题。
(点评教师：卢爱华)
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